#EndTheStigma

I’ve been meaning to write a post like this for quite some time. It is unfortunate that a prominent death is what gave me the final push to write this post.

My reaction to Robin Williams’ death was similar to many others- shock. I had no idea he suffered from severe depression and was sad to hear he resorted to suicide in order to end his pain. Immediately logging onto Twitter I saw a host of celebrities grieving for Williams and saying things like “Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help” or “Please get help if you are hurting.”

As a psychology major and someone with a history of mental illness in the family, I’m glad to see celebrities and major figures begin to show awareness towards depression. But why did someone’s death have to prompt this conversation? Why isn’t depression awareness already a topic of conversation in the media. How come so many people don’t understand depression and see suicide as a selfish act, rather than an act of desperation.

One of my facebook friends posted this article discussing Robin Williams’ death. I completely agree with the author in saying that Williams did not die from suicide, he died from depression. Like the author states depression is an illness not a lifestyle choice. People don’t just “get depressed” they have depression. And it’s not something as simple as being sad all the time, it goes deeper than that. I found a BuzzFeed article called “15 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone Struggling With Depression” and believe that it is an article that everyone can benefit from reading.

Overall, I wish more people were more educated on depression (and mental illnesses in general) and did not stigmatize the disease. Because that’s what depression is, a disease. If anyone has any questions or concerns, please feel free to comment on this post and I will be happy to discuss it with you.

Some more information on depression worth looking at: Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part 2, DGC Says, 6 Things Not to Say to Someone With Depression, and lastly I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression.

Some phone numbers to be aware of:
US Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-2433
Suicide and Depression Hotline- Covenant House: 800-999-9999
NDMDA Depression Hotline- Support Group: 800-826-3632

If you or someone you know is struggling from depression, please get help. Depression is a flaw in chemistry, not character. Asking for help does not mean that you are weak, it means you are strong enough to get the help you deserve and need.

Summer Update

I’ve been majorly neglecting my blog recently due to summer starting and I thought I would stop by and give a little update on what I’ve been up to.

Since coming home from Maymester and officially finishing my degree at JMU, I started nannying for a family with two girls. I think people would be amazed at how much you can learn from spending all day with two kids. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a “supervisor” and even as a communicator. The only thing is, I forget how much more energy kids have than I do! I often find myself in bed earlier than usual thinking, is this what post-grad life really feels like?

Even though I haven’t been giving this blog as much loving as usual, I haven’t been neglecting my writing. I try to make an effort to write at least once a day. Whether that is an entry in my journal or a quick idea scribbled in my Moleskine, I make sure I’ve been getting my thoughts down on paper (because you never known when a good idea will hit you).

I’m still wrestling with the idea of not going back to school in September, it feels wrong after sixteen years of September equaling school time. But I know that come September, I’ll have some idea of what I’m doing and it won’t seem as scary as it does now.

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost…

I don’t completely remember where I got this infographic… it’s been saved on my desktop for so long (but I think Facebook had something to do with it). But I look at this image almost twice a week now because I am currently in that crazy scribble in the middle of 20 and 30.

My 22nd birthday was this past Sunday and instead of being excited for my birthday like I normally am, I was kind of scared to be honest. 22? 22 is old. I know people who are engaged, getting married, with real jobs and here I am still taking my last Maymester class with no idea what I’m going to be doing once this summer is over.

I talked to my mom about it and it’s a weird feeling. For my entire life since I was 5, come September it was time to go back to school and that was the routine. Once I hit college we went back in late August and that made September an even more “scholarly” time of the year. But this year, since I’m not going to grad school, I won’t have that. I could be unemployed in September still searching for a job. But this image reminds me that even though I may be wandering a little bit right now it’s going to be okay, because I’m not necessarily lost. It may just take me a little bit longer to find my footing in the real world than it has for some of my peers.

Post-Grad Life (So far)

Well, May 10th has come and gone and the world didn’t end so I guess there really is life after JMU.

Graduation weekend was a flurry of events. With all the family members coming into town and into our little apartment, things got a little crazy. Friday was the University Commencement held in the football stadium which was pretty cool. We were allowed to sit with our friends so it was nice to be able to sit with all the roommates even though we have different majors.

Saturday morning were the individual college graduations where we were able to have our names called and walk. Thankfully the weather held out and we were able to still have a beautiful ceremony on the quad.

10255439_10152125454243786_721895107929171022_n — My wonderful family

10153255_10152125453458786_4877515570951970764_n — Thanks for everything you did for me, Mom & Dad.

10305169_10152125454343786_4800305829851206274_n — Kind of hard to see, but that’s me walking across stage!

After our respective graduation, everyone came back to the apartment for a cookout/after party (where it did finally start to rain). The Virginia parents left Saturday and the Jersey parents left Sunday… along with ourselves for a week at the beach! My parents were kind enough to let us use the beach house for the week as our graduation gift. The weather was absolutely perfect and we couldn’t have asked for a better week to be at the beach.

It’s hard getting used to saying “I just graduated from JMU” or “I went to JMU.” A lot of people at the beach asked where we were in school and it was so easy and natural to just respond “We’re seniors at JMU.” without even thinking. While being at the beach was nice, it kind of put off the real post-grad life for a little bit longer. It wasn’t until we got back to Harrisonburg that it really hit me as Laura and Paige began packing up their rooms to leave Sunday morning.

I have to admit, I am still putting off the real post-grad lifestyle a little bit longer because of Maymester, but not a day goes by where I’m not worried about what I’m going to do next or how I’m going to survive without all the wonderful people I’ve met here at JMU.

However, for the mean time I’m going to try my best to live day-by-day and figure out problems as they come to me and not create problems that have not even happened yet. The goal is to finish my last undergraduate class in Maymester strong and then figure out life from there.

An open letter to my roommates

I know I recently wrote a post about staying authentic and “open letters” have become increasingly popular, but I feel it is necessary to write this letter for the four (technically three) amazing girls I have had the opportunity to live with for the past three years.

Dear Kat, Paige, and Laura (and Lizzie),

I don’t know how many of you know this but when a big change is about to happen in my life, I tend to write letters to those I love in order to express in writing what I may not be able to say in person. So here I am attempting to write a letter that encompasses the past three years of our lives.

I wouldn’t know any if you if it wasn’t for Kat randomly chatting me on Facebook. I’m so grateful for that random conversation that lead us to becoming friends, Kat. Because of you I was able to meet Paige and bring another best friend into my life. And Laura, I can’t even imagine how different our lives would be if you hadn’t been brought into our lives sophomore year. Thanks for agreeing to live with us and (unknowingly) getting stuck with us for the rest of your college career.

Lizzie, even though you haven’t technically been living with us for the past two years, you’ll always be the unofficial fifth roommate. I feel so blessed to have known you in high school and coming into JMU. You helped make the transition from Richmond to Harrisonburg so much easier.

We’ve had a crazy past three years and it’s hard to believe that our time living together is coming to an end. But not our time together in general, because whether you like it or not you’re stuck with me for life. I wish I could recap all of our greatest memories here but I know you all are thinking of them anyways as you read this letter.

Thank you all for always being there for me. Thank you for listening to me cry over grades, boys, and various other drama. Thank you for understanding my anxiety and helping me work through it, no matter how irrational I’m being. Thanks for all the times you’ve gotten me out of bed, even on the days when I didn’t think it was possible. Thank you for being some of my biggest cheerleaders, from remembering when I had tests to when I had big presentations due, thank you for your constant encouragement and positive thoughts. Thanks for putting up with my gluten free diet and adjusting meals or birthdays so I would be able to join in. And lastly, thank you for letting me use your Netflix and HBOGO accounts.

Graduation is scary not just because I don’t know what I’m doing yet, but mostly because I won’t being physically with y’all all the time. Who is going to lay on the couch with me all day watching Bad Girls Club and Teen Mom marathons? Who is going to get Cookout with me at all hours of the day and night just because I want a milkshake?

I’m not worried about staying in touch because I know it’ll happen naturally. You all mean the world to me and I will be forever blessed by your friendships.

Love always, Katie

http://sarahrobertsonphotography.com — Thanks sarahrobertsonphotography.com for taking our graduation portraits!

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place…”

Today as I was scrolling through Facebook and all the graduation posts-most of which I was ignoring-I was stopped by one classmate’s status about graduation. It was a long post but it seemed to encompass everything I have been feeling.

My classmate made the point that even though we’ll be uprooted from our home for the past four years soon, we just have to bring the JMU community with us wherever we go. She quoted the “famous” Alpha Spitzer quote that summarizes JMU perfectly,

JMU is not just an institution of higher learning, it is a spirit, it is an atmosphere it is… a way of life I am glad to say that I have lived – Alpha Spitzer, ’37

Then I went to my last Psych of Learning class and after going over information for the final, my teacher talked about the importance of education. Recently, 200 Nigerian girls were kidnapped for going to school. And then there’s Malala Yousafzai, who was shot by the Taliban on her way to school in Pakistan.

I always feel guilty that I’ve taken a lot of my education for granted. And more importantly, I feel like I’ve taken JMU for granted without even realizing it. I spent all of freshmen year being paralyzed by homesickness and I feel like I need another year in order to make up for the year I wasn’t in love with JMU and calling it my home. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that in just ten days I’ll be graduating. Thanks to Maymester, however, I won’t be leaving for another month. But after Maymester, I have to officially pack up my apartment and leave Harrisonburg. The feeling is definitely bittersweet.

But in the meantime, I plan on spending my time living out the rest of my senior year as much as possible with my best friends and roommates.

Love purple, Live gold.

Staying authentic

“Why Every 20-Something Female Should Be Ashamed Of Herself” , “26 Perks of Being in a Serious Relationship in Your 20s”, “The 6 Types of Guys You’ll Date in Your 20’s”

My twitter feed and Facebook newsfeed are suddenly being flooded by articles such as these. Along with the “open letter” blog types to the class of 2014.

And then there are the professional articles that show up all over LinkedIn and the professional twitters I follow. For example, “20 Signs You Work in PR”, 10 rules of an incompetent professional and “9 Resume Mistakes That Might Cost You a Job” are just some of the numerous articles I have seen.

Every time I log onto Facebook or Twitter it seems like there is another “list” article being shared. It’s hard as an emerging (baby) blogger to decide whether or not this type of post would be a good read and well-written blog post. At this point, I’m not even sure what I would write a list about… other than things I’ve learned as a college student, an already popular list topic. But I don’t want to write a post like that just because it has become a “trendy” way to write for the popular press.

My friend, Rachel, wrote a great blog today about online presence that got me thinking about how I wanted my own presence to be viewed by others. I want this blog to be as authentic as possible so people are able to get a better understanding of who I am through my writing. To whoever is reading this, I hope you’ve been able to get that impression from my posts.

Disordered eating = going gluten free?

Gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, lactose intolerant, wheat allergy, peanut allergy… the list goes on.

My sophomore year of college I was officially diagnosed with celiac disease and have been gluten free ever since. After being diagnosed everything made sense; the low weight my entire life, getting sick as soon as getting to JMU, having a horrible immune system, my asthma and a litany of other symptoms. Going gluten free has made me feel immensely better and it is very obvious when I have accidentally consumed gluten.

Thankfully, I was diagnosed during a time where celiac and gluten intolerances are gaining more recognition and research so eating gluten free is easier than it has been in the past. Even JMU has gotten better over the past two and a half years I have been gluten free.

But I was also diagnosed when going gluten free was becoming a “fad” diet. Some people thought I was faking and that celiac isn’t a real disease, including some of my family members. But what people don’t realize is a gluten free diet is not necessarily healthy. Many gluten free foods have more sugars added in order to help the food taste like “normal” food. After going gluten free my most frequently asked question was, “Did you lose a lot of weight?” Actually no, I finally began gaining weight because I could properly digest my food without damaging my intestines.

I was dumbfounded when I heard people were going gluten free by choice. I’ve struggled with the diet ever since being diagnosed. Imagine all your favorite foods being taken away and knowing you would get sick if you continued to eat them. Why would anyone voluntarily do that?

So where is this rant going? Well, in my child psychopathology class this week we discussed eating disorders and disordered eating in children and adolescents. I was shocked to find out people are claiming they have a wheat allergy or gluten intolerance in order to not have to eat certain foods. What? Why on earth would anyone want to be on such a restricted diet?

First I was shocked and then I was angry. That explains why dining hall employees ask me if I’m actually gluten free when going to the g-free station or when I’m trying to order a gluten free wrap. Does this mean people think I have a disordered pattern of eating? Do people still think after 2.5 years I’m using this as an excuse not to eat certain foods? It saddens me to think that some people are using legitimate allergies and diseases as ways to restrict their own diets and lose weight in an unhealthy manner. It’s a trend that I hope won’t pick up any more momentum and will soon start to peter out.

For more information on healthy eating, visit the CDC’s site.

neVer forgeT

Seven years is a long time.

But not long enough to forget what happened. To forget how 32 lives were taken and 32 families were forever changed.

Even though I was born and raised in Virginia, I’m not a Virginia Tech fan. I didn’t grow up with ties to the school in any way, so Tech was never really talked about in my house.

But today… today is different. Today reminds me of how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. Today brings up so many emotions, especially knowing someone whose family was affected by the tragedy. I can still remember being a freshman in high school and even though I didn’t know any current students at Tech, I was scared and in shock.

I remember my newly-made friend, Emma, being gone for a week to be with her brother who was shot. I remember her bringing in a copy of People Magazine to show us her brother on the cover as a survivor. I will always admire her strength and poise for the past seven years when this day rolls around. I don’t know if I would be able to handle things the same way she has been able to handle them.

The picture above is one of my favorite pictures that came out of the situation. Not only did Tech’s own community come together quickly in the face of adversity, but so did Virginia colleges as a whole. I love seeing all the different college mascots together to comfort the Hokie bird. It’s always been an incredibly powerful picture for me.

I will forever bleed purple and be a Duke, but today we’re all Hokies.

Cap & Gown

Today I went to the bookstore to purchase my cap & gown. My walk to the bookstore was slow and I was dragging my feet. I kept thinking about how exciting it was to get our cap & gowns in high school and how different that feeling had changed. Once I was inside the bookstore I was greeted by a table holding diploma frames, JMU Alumni t shirts, and other various graduation items.

I kept walking.

Once I was handed my cap, gown, and white tassel for a Bachelor of Arts, I turned around (dazed I might add) and made my way downstairs. But when I got downstairs I saw several other dazed looking seniors walking around with their cap and gown. Like we all couldn’t believe graduation is actually happening, it’s actually here. But after talking to my friend tonight a light bulb thought happened.

In high school, the reason everyone was so excited to graduate was because we knew what bigger and better things were to come (our respective colleges). We knew how the process worked and the timeline of how the events would unfold.

But now, most people don’t have any idea what is going to happen after graduation. Unless someone is going to grad school or already has a solid job lined up, no one really has any idea what is going on. That realization is weirdly comforting. It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my confusion or intimidation of the real world. I know some people are more excited to graduate than others because they do want to be done with school and away from JMU… but for the most part it seems most seniors aren’t ready to leave.

We have roughly a month left at this beautiful campus and I intend to try and take advantage of every day.

Kathryn G. Flocco

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