A Letter to My Hometown

A Letter to My Hometown

Dear Richmond,

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how to write this letter. Do I start with what I’m thankful for or with what I’ll miss most? Should I even start this letter to Richmond? Should it be to the state of Virginia as a whole with a few paragraphs specifically for Richmond? (Because Harrisonburg is part of my story, too.)

Because Virginia has always been the constant in my life. Because I was only allowed to apply to in state schools for college, with a single exception. But if that exception had come true, if my dream of Princeton had really happened, how would I look at Virginia?

Because I’ve never lived anywhere except Virginia. When I did leave for college I decided I had had enough of Richmond and I was ready to get out, I wanted something new. But that quickly faded when I realized Harrisonburg (bless that place) isn’t much of a city, but more of a college town. JMU was really the only thing there for me and I felt a longing for Richmond I had never experienced before. I proclaimed through tears that Harrisonburg would never be my home, I would never make JMU my home. It was always and forever Richmond.

And then three years later, I graduated and had to leave Harrisonburg. I had to move out of my college apartment and leave the Shenandoah Valley and the mountains I grew to love, even though I promised I never would. And I left a piece of my heart there. Now I know that wherever I go, JMU will always be a place where I feel home, no matter how long I’ve been gone.

But even during those four years spent in the mountains, I still considered Richmond to be my home. And after graduation, while I thought about other cities to move to, I ultimately ended up back in Richmond.

At first I was bitter; I wanted another clean start like JMU had given me. I didn’t want to be living with my parents again because that felt like I was regressing. Then life happened the way it usually does, some things got messy and I realized I needed to still be in Richmond. There were still a few things Richmond needed to teach me before I could leave.

But now I feel ready to leave Richmond’s arms.

So, Richmond, thanks…

for helping my parents raise me to be the woman I am today.

for being the perfect location: two hours from the beach, two hours from the mountains, two hours from D.C. and far enough below the Mason-Dixon line for me to say I grew up in the south.

for having all four seasons and sometimes letting me experience what feels like all of them in one day.

for also being home to the nicest, friendliest, most caring people I’ve ever met.

for cultivating art throughout the entire city with the Richmond Mural Project.

for being home to the Flying Squirrels, Go Nutz! (But originally being home to the Richmond Brave’s).

for The Fan and its charming rows of houses that I’ve never seen anywhere else.

for the music scene. Thanks to you I’ve seen Parachute (too many times to count), Ben Folds, Bright Eyes, Andy Grammer, Plain White T’s, The Head and the Heart, Corey Smith, SmashMouth, Wicked, The Book of Mormon and Avenue Q.

for the history that happened here.

for everything about the James River- from Belle Isle where I spent every birthday from ages 15-21 to its rapids to its parks and to its sunsets.

for being a comfortable size to grow up in, not too big and not too small.

for helping me realize it’s okay to grow and change, just like the city has over the years.

for gluten free donuts (thank you Sugar Shack!)

for Virginia peanuts.

for Saturday morning farmer’s markets.

for all the street festivals and parades that have become tradition (looking at you, Watermelon Festival and Monument’s Easter parade).

for my favorite Christmas tradition every year, The Nutcracker with the Richmond Symphony and the Richmond Ballet.

for tacky light tours also being a favorite tradition.

for the VMFA and exhibits such as Picasso and Chihuly and Saturday Salutations with Project Yoga Richmond.

for Shockoe Slip Yoga, a different type of home I will miss so dearly.

for $2 movies at the Byrd.

for Rainbow Cookies. Because even though I can’t eat them anymore, I will forever remember how excited I was to go to Ukrop’s as a child (or really any time before becoming gluten free).

for teaching me how to parallel park.

for all the amazing gluten free restaurants.

for the humidity, because if I can handle Richmond’s humidity, I can handle ANY humidity.

for be able to live downtown without rent costing an arm and a leg.

for there never being a line at security in the airport.

for my first real job and my amazing coworkers.

And lastly, 

Thank you for my amazing family and friends who have shown me constant support throughout my entire life and who help/have helped make Richmond home.

I will miss you, Richmond.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

Persistent Themes

The themes I can’t get out of my head lately:

  1. Feel your feelings: Don’t try and resist them, that only makes them come back stronger and harder later. Deal with them now. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. Dance it out if you need to.
  2. Stop listening to what society says you “should” do: Society doesn’t know what’s best for you. Maybe you aren’t meant to be at a desk job, maybe you are, but decide that for yourself. Creating your own happiness may mean taking the road less traveled.
  3. If it scares you, do it: If something scares you or makes you nervous, that probably means it’s important. Fear usually comes from the unknown, but so does growth.
  4. Lead with your heart: Gut intuition is good, listen to your gut feelings. But also listen to your heart, sometimes our hearts know before our brains do.
  5. Effective communication is seriously important: Honestly, this is the biggest thing the “real world” has taught me. Some people either don’t know how to communicate efficiently and effectively or they just don’t care, but it makes a world of difference if you do.

What’s Currently Tangled in My Mind

What’s Currently Tangled in My Mind

My friend Rachel (who actually has a real blog and has this whole blogging thing down) writes little life updates and quick lists about the things she’s currently thinking about/enjoying/indulging/etc in. I love the idea. It’s sweet and to the point, with the opportunity to elaborate if necessary.

So, here’s what I’m currently thinking about.

Podcasts. I had a hard time getting into these at first, I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for. But then I found The Good Life Project which eventually led me to Well/Aware. And now I’m obsessed with podcasts because Well/Aware is everything I was looking for. The host, Lindsay Mueller, focuses on wellness and leading a mindful life (thus, well and aware) and she does this by interviewing people in the wellness community that are a bit off the beaten path. Even the interviews when I was like “eh, plant-based diets don’t really apply to me, maybe I’ll skip this one” I ended up getting something profound out of them. It kind of feels like Lindsay is a soul sister, she just really seems to get me… even though she doesn’t actually know me. If you’re interested in checking out some of her podcasts I HIGHLY recommend:

Yoga. I’ve been doing yoga off and on for years ever since my mom showed me Rodney Yee’s tapes (yeah, she’s got his VHS TAPES) in middle school. It was never a serious practice and I only ever did it for the physical asanas. In college, I would occasionally go to the Power Yoga class UREC offered and would talk about after how I could never keep up with the breathing in class, so I just didn’t try anymore. I was there for the workout, not the breathing. This January, I discovered Shockoe Slip Yoga and after my first 3 classes, I was hooked. I decided this was something I needed to do for the mental and emotional benefits, not the physical aspect (but don’t get me wrong, the physical asanas are great because at least now I’m moving my body and not being a couch potato all the time). This led me to finding Rachel Brathen’s book Yoga Girl at Barnes and Noble, which led me to find the oneOeight community. On the days I can’t make it to the studio, I practice at home with oneOeight. It is a subscription service but it’s basically like having Netflix but for yoga and meditation and I love being able to go to the website knowing I have access to some of the world’s greatest yoga teachers (like Rachel Brathen, Stephanie Birch and Colleen Saidman Yee).

Meditation. So since I’ve gotten back into yoga, I’m also slowly entering the world of meditation. And I’m not going to lie, it’s hard. oneOeight has an awesome “Calm” section of the website with several meditation videos, but I felt like I needed something more. I found the Meditation Studio app through Starbucks, as one of their free apps of the week. It’s normally $2.99 in the app store, but it’s HIGHLY worth it. I absolutely love this app. Not only is it beautiful and minimal, the meditations are wonderful. Some of them are short little breaks while others are 10-30 minutes long, depending on what you need and want. If you don’t think you want to pay $2.99 for a meditation app though, Stop, Breathe & Think is a great free app (that has in-app purchases, if you choose to add more content).

Avocados. I only used to eat avocados if they were in guacamole, the texture really freaked me out. But then I realized just about everyone I know is eating them and is obsessed with them, so I tried it. And now I can’t stop eating them.

Hydrangeas. Now that warm weather is here and it’s stopped raining every single IMG_3881day, I keep noticing hydrangeas EVERYWHERE in The Fan. Our street has a little garden patch on the sidewalk and usually nothing is growing there, but the most beautiful hydrangeas have grown and blossomed. I kind of have a black thumb, but I’m pretty sure hydrangeas are incredibly difficult to grow, so how did these beautiful blossoms just appear?!

 

Redesign. Because when I first started this blog I had no idea what I was doing and now I work in web design and good lord does this little space need a facelift.

Blogging Fears

Current fears

  • How will this effect my job? My career as a whole?
  • What if people don’t like my writing or what I have to say?
  • What if people think I’m being inauthentic?
  • What if I offend someone?
  • What if this doesn’t bring me joy or peace?

But what if one person likes it? What if it helps one person?

Honesty

If I’m being honest, I didn’t think too much about that last post.

I was being true to what it said and just did. I wrote the damn thing. And then hit publish.
And then realized I would need to keep blogging. Because you can’t just write a blog post about how you’ve been ignoring your blog but you have this urge to write… and then not write. That’s kind of a tease.

But the more I thought about it over the past few days, the scarier actually posting my thoughts has become. It feels like my mind is constantly racing with things I want to focus on, articles I want to read, podcasts I want to listen to… the list goes on.

So why is it when I read a truly beautiful, heartfelt blog post, I applaud that person and sometimes can relate to what they’re saying. But when I think about writing a similar post, I recoil at the thought.

Me? Write a blog post that isn’t professional or having to do with the industry in which I work? Being personal with the ENTIRE internet? With no privacy settings? No, that’s okay. I think I’ll pass on this.

But I keep thinking about it. Over and over. It’s like this space is haunting me, calling me to come back. So I’m going to. I’m going to keep showing up here. Even if the posts are short. Even if the posts are a rambled, jumbled mess that don’t make sense. Even if the posts have grammatical errors, I’m going to come here. And I’m going to write.

And I’m going to be honest.

Hello, it’s me.

I’ve been avoiding this little corner of the internet for a while.

But I think it may be time to come back. I’ve been yearning to write.

And not in the way I do at work, finally getting to call myself a copywriter, finally doing what I love for a living. And not in the way I devour journals and am constantly itching for my soft cover, dotted line Moleskine and Precise V5 rolling ball black pens.

I’ve been aching to express myself again. I miss writing for me. I miss seeing my words out in the world.

I keep listening to podcasts about how to be creative, how to get started on your creative project and most of them have been saying the same thing: stop waiting and just do. So for me, I need to just write again. I need to just keep typing until I feel satisfied and then hit publish.

So even though this scares me and even though there are millions of blogs out there… here I am. Typing and typing and typing and hitting publish.

Intentionality

Lately I’ve been trying to be more aware of my actions and words. I’m trying to be more intentional.

Every morning starts with the same groan as my alarm goes off and I hit snooze multiple times. Flash forward 30 minutes later and I’m running around wishing I hadn’t wasted those precious few minutes laying in bed still instead of getting up. I mean, I set an alarm for a reason, right?

Instead of wasting time in the morning I need to take time and set up my intentions and goals for the day. I think doing this will help with my mood and energy levels at work, helping me be more productive and have better days. Not every single day needs to feel or be the same. Only I have the power to change my mood and how I’m treating my coworkers, family and friends.

So I’m going to challenge myself to set time aside every morning to think about my upcoming day and what I want to achieve from it. I wrote the following in my work notebook this morning after watching a fitness video (ha):

IMG_1360In case you can’t read it, it says:

  • Find your balance first in the morning
  •  Think about your intentions for the day, how you want your day to be… where you visualize yourself going
    •  Visualize yourself reaching all your goals
  •  How will you react to every situation?
    • Every challenge is a lesson
  • Every person you come into contact with…there is a reason for them
    • Be grateful, have no regrets

Those words might even have to go up on the whiteboard in my room so I can see them every morning.

Things to be more intentional about:

  • This blog
  • Relationships with family & friends
  • Working out/health
  • Making more of an effort in every day activities
  • Having more good days than bad days = be more positive

Anyone else feeling the same way or have any other ideas to add to my list? Comment below!

What’s in My Bag: Internship Style

What’s in My Bag: Internship Style

Sometimes inspiration for a blog post comes from the strangest places. I’ve felt in a slump recently with not knowing what to write about and this morning as I was getting my things together for work, I thought about writing a post about what goes in my bag every day with me to my internship. Now I understand a lot of people may not care about this, but I think there is some value for people who may be just beginning an internship or don’t know what to bring on their first day.

So, here we go:

  1. My beloved Macbook Pro (and charger!): I’ve had my Macbook for four years now and it is one of my most precious possessions. It got me through papers and finals in college and now is my main resource for working in my internship. Everyone in the office has Mac computers and we’re all pretty reliant on them. In an ad agency, it’s possible not to need a computer and be constantly connected with coworkers and clients.
  2. Notebook and numerous pens: Next to my computer, having a notebook on hand always is important in my job. Working on the account side of an ad agency or the “suits and ties” side, it’s important to always have a notebook in hand to write things down. I take my notebook everywhere; when my boss calls me into his office, during meetings (even when I have my computer), and even just sitting at my desk. I’m constantly writing things down and making sure I know exactly what my boss wants from me. Same goes with having writing utensils available. It doesn’t have to be pens, I just happen to prefer them over pencils. But it’s important to always have something on hand to be able to write down whatever it is you need.
  3. Planner/Calendar: In order to keep track of deadlines, I like having a physical calendar to write everything down. While I think iCal is great, there’s just something about having a physical calendar that helps me stay more organized. It also helps me keep all my appointments straight so my supervisors know when I may be out of the office or late to work.
  4. Miscellaneous electronic devices: Just in case I need to plug my iPhone into my computer for any reason I like to keep a USB connection cord (which also helps charge my phone). In addition, I like having a pair of headphones so I can listen to music in the office without disrupting my coworkers who may be distracted by listening to music while working.
  5. Umbrella: I park five blocks away from my office, you never know how important an umbrella is until you’re stuck in a downpour for five blocks.
  6. Cardigan/Blazer/Jacket: My office is generally pretty chilly and I get cold easily anyways so I always make sure I have something for when I do eventually get cold.
  7. Wallet, keys, phone, chapstick: I never leave the house without these essentials!

Have anything you think might be worthwhile for me to add? Let me know in the comments section!

#EndTheStigma

I’ve been meaning to write a post like this for quite some time. It is unfortunate that a prominent death is what gave me the final push to write this post.

My reaction to Robin Williams’ death was similar to many others- shock. I had no idea he suffered from severe depression and was sad to hear he resorted to suicide in order to end his pain. Immediately logging onto Twitter I saw a host of celebrities grieving for Williams and saying things like “Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help” or “Please get help if you are hurting.”

As a psychology major and someone with a history of mental illness in the family, I’m glad to see celebrities and major figures begin to show awareness towards depression. But why did someone’s death have to prompt this conversation? Why isn’t depression awareness already a topic of conversation in the media. How come so many people don’t understand depression and see suicide as a selfish act, rather than an act of desperation.

One of my facebook friends posted this article discussing Robin Williams’ death. I completely agree with the author in saying that Williams did not die from suicide, he died from depression. Like the author states depression is an illness not a lifestyle choice. People don’t just “get depressed” they have depression. And it’s not something as simple as being sad all the time, it goes deeper than that. I found a BuzzFeed article called “15 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone Struggling With Depression” and believe that it is an article that everyone can benefit from reading.

Overall, I wish more people were more educated on depression (and mental illnesses in general) and did not stigmatize the disease. Because that’s what depression is, a disease. If anyone has any questions or concerns, please feel free to comment on this post and I will be happy to discuss it with you.

Some more information on depression worth looking at: Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part 2, DGC Says, 6 Things Not to Say to Someone With Depression, and lastly I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression.

Some phone numbers to be aware of:
US Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-2433
Suicide and Depression Hotline- Covenant House: 800-999-9999
NDMDA Depression Hotline- Support Group: 800-826-3632

If you or someone you know is struggling from depression, please get help. Depression is a flaw in chemistry, not character. Asking for help does not mean that you are weak, it means you are strong enough to get the help you deserve and need.